May 28, 2007
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Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision moving into my new job a few months ago. I left my comfort zone where I had great travel perks, steady hours, and 3 day weekends every week. One of my managers at my new place jokes around bout why I left then. It's been quite the change working 35 some hours a week at my old job to often 60-70 hours a week at my new one. The pay is much better and the potential to learn more is greater at the new place too. At some point or another, I'll run my own projects and get thrown in the fire. It might be this year. The partner had a discussion with me last week on my expectations for promotion, and he was going to think about it this weekend and give me a decision sometime soon. I honestly don't think he'll give it to me this year given that I'm fairly new to the firm even though I was eligible for it this year. It wouldn't kill me to stay at my level for another year. I'll actually be able to work on a variety of projects and not be pigeonholed into one type of work. This got me thinking about what I really wanted to do with my career.
I know at some point I won't be able to keep up with the hours at work, and I'll end up crashing. In fact, I've been somewhat burned out for the past few weeks having to stay till past midnight for work. Even now, during my long Memorial day weekend, I'm up at 1:30am doing a bit of work. Even though the pay is better and I'm learning more, my work/life balance is almost non-existent and the little free time I do have I spend at the gym to try to burn off some of this stress building up in me from work.
But then what is more valuable, the money or the work/life balance? I wish it were true that you could have both and at times you possibly can but not all the time. I couldn't make the kind of money I do working a 9-5 job, so then I wouldn't be able to have as much discretionary spending as I'd like. It's nice to not have to worry about money sometimes and just being able to go out and get whatever you want to get, eat at nice restaurants, or take mini vacations whenever the chance came up. However, I know in the past 6 months since I've been at my current job, I've not been able to see as many of my friends as I would have liked, not have enjoyed some of the free time to explore the new city that I'm in, or really have time to make any new friends at all. I can't see myself doing a 9-5 job, doing the same shit everyday and watching the clock hit 5 so that I can get the hell out of my workplace. I can't do that now. I can't be in a mundane type of job. I know I want it all when I want the money and not have to work the hours that I do but then would my life be better if I were in a boring job? I'd be bored 8 hours of the day but then have the nights to do whatever I wanted to but would be limited in what I could do in how much money I'd be making.
I wake up every morning to check my work email only to thumb through my cell phone figuring out my responses to write once I get into the office an hour later. After I leave work, I'm always thinking about work too and checking emails/doing work at night once I get back from the gym. It's almost as if I breath/live work even though I don't have the passion for the work I do. It's only a means to an end and I don't even know what that end is. I'm sure many people out there feel the same way that I do now. They're trudging through the daily grind unwilling to take a chance and leave their comfort zone to do something they'd rather much enjoy for fear of not making money or losing out on benefits. Most people I'd say are either content at best with their jobs or truly unhappy. I really haven't met too many people the truly love their jobs. I wish I could just say fuck it and leave the corporate life and open up my own restaurant. If it weren't for the money, I'm sure I'd be doing something that I love. It's tough though, do you pick happiness and satisfaction with your job over having a lot of money?
Comments (7)
You're right... we can't have both of everything... great job and great paid.. I'm in that position where my job doesn't require alot, 9-5.30 daily but the paid sucks. I hate to say it but yes, I would pick the more paying job only because I don't want to worry about money constantly... then maybe I'll make more than enough... and find something part-time... and do a lot of investments.=)
boy can i relate! only difference is that my old job demanded the same long hours, ocassionally with less pay, my main focus is more about the learning curve and opportunity to progress in the career rather than the ability to flaunt the money and throw the arrogant attitude around.. old job took advantage of that, and i felt that i was being undervalued, so i hopped onto the opportunity to step out of the comfort zone: ) im happy i took the risk and excited to challenge myself.. dunno if it was the right move, but can't find out if you don't take that chance
good luck! im sure you'll find a balance soon, it's always difficult in the beginning : )
Haha, well, I'm not that old yet
You played for quite a long time! It's great to make recreational music, but sometimes my violin is actually the source of my misery...forcing myself to spend grueling hours in the practice room just to perfect one scale, or getting so nervous at the end of the semester when juries roll around make me ask myself if this is really worth it. I wonder sometimes if I would've enjoyed music more had I not pursued it, but I don't think I would have because I've learned so much in music school after only one year. Also, I will be able to do what I love by sharing music with my students. Obviously, I picked happiness over money and it's been a constant struggle with my family (read my Mother's Day entry.) It's a difficult decision, so good luck in finding that balance 
I hear the same type of complaints from chris...he was absolutely miserable when he working to the death. All I know is, I woke up excited and happy to go to work when I was externing with the PD's office...and out of all the jobs I've held, I stayed at the PD's the longest - with no pay. The other jobs paid and such but I was gone within 6 months. I suppose I'm quite lucky...assuming everything goes as planned, I'll be doing what I really enjoy as a career.
If and only if we lived in a perfect world huh? I'd be able to eat all the yummy food you'd cook at your restaurant!
I would pick happiness and satisfaction over money and, in fact, I went for those when I was at the dilemma of deciding to stay or walk away. I'm working in Education Business and you know how stressful it is when things keep changing/updating and projects after projects. Sometimes work just wears me out and I wanna call it quit. Still, I decided to stay. I'm not gonna say I'm totally happy with the decision I made but at least I'm not regreting. I started working here right after I garduated and have been with the company for 4 years so far. I don't get paid well and have to work my ass off... but I've got good bosses, wonderful colleagues and opportunites for self-improvement and advancement here. Of course I have a same problem like yours, and even give a name to that symptom as 'work-haunting mode' =P. My relatives and friends ask my why still I stay there but not applying for other jobs that would pay me double. I admit the struggle is in there but I don't let it arises... that's a way to help balance work/life... for me, being able to make enough money to cover living expenses and for a little savings, I'm content
you can't have the best of both worlds...decisions, decisions. If you choose a job that you love, you probably don't make as much, but on the other hand, if you choose to have a job that pays a whole lot more, you don't have a life. You only get to live once...you shouldn't have to spend 95% of your life working cuz before you know it, life passes you by...and you're grandpa. by then, you'll look back and possibly regret that you let your younger days pass you by.
I actually didn't watch Miss Universe last night...I chose to read about it instead, haha! I became involved with it because my parents wanted to save for my college fund, and as I mentioned in my entry, I'm only doing Miss Philippines because my friend/former coach needed to recruit more girls and I owed her a favor. Everything seems rehearsed these days...I don't know if there are genuine, eloquent girls competing anymore
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