June 7, 2007

• For some reason, many of my friends seem to confide in me.  I'm the go to person when people need someone to listen to, to give them some objective advice or just someone to vent to.  However, most people don't want advice if the advice is something they don't want to hear.  People tend to go to people they know that will sympathize with them and tell them they're right in the choices they've made.  No one likes to hear that they made the wrong choice or they screwed up.  For the most part, this is especially true when it comes to relationships.

  Relationships are the one area that people I think are the most stubborn in.  They already have pre-set notions as to what to do but just want others to agree with them.  I recently caught up with a good friend of mine who confided to me that her boyfriend had cheated on her.  She always told me that if her significant other cheated on her, it was over.  Some reason this time around she made an exception and they're now back together working things out.  When I was talking to her to try to weigh out what to do, I laid it out there for her.  There were basically two options.  The first being just leave the guy, never talk to him, it's over.  This is what most people should do but why is it that when people get cheated on, a lot of times they end up back together?  The second option I thought was to take a break to see how she felt about him, if she really truly could forgive him and think they could work it out, and to see what he would do during this time.  I advised against the second option cause to me cheating is cheating and there should be no 3 strikes rule.  It should be strike 1 and you're out.  She felt that he could be the one and if it were just this one screw up right now, better to handle it now than 10 years down the road.  I can see this but only if people really think there's one person out there for you.  I don't believe that either. I think there's many people out there, but it's just a matter of timing. 

  Cheating isn't simple just sleeping with another person.  It's having some sort of attachment that can be either physical, mental, or emotional.  It's simply that you're not completely with the person that you're supposed to be with.  I know that people like to have their cake and eat it too, but cheating is just simply one thing I am firm on.  Having been cheated on myself before, I know what it's like to have to go through the roller coaster of emotions.  I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.  But do people really think they can simply move past cheating?  There's always that lingering feeling in the back of your mind that you can't trust the person anymore.  Why settle for someone that's not completely with you?   I never understood that mentality.  If you had the opportunity to cheat without ever getting caught, without your significant other ever finding out, would you?  Even if it were purely physical, could you?  Makes me wonder then if people are just not built for monogomy if that's the case.

  • 4:00 am
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